To paraphrase a bunch of anti-Nazi singing nuns: How do you clear up an issue like reviewing a recreation that is virtually 25 years previous? The nuns by no means got here up with a solution, however we’ve to, as a result of it is a assessment, not a convent, and it is the difficulty on the coronary heart of this assessment, in any case. Harvest Moon 64 got here out in 1999 — the 20th century! — and it definitely performs prefer it, with clunky digicam angles, poor localisation, a dearth of issues to do, and music that may drive you loopy with its incessant 32-bar loops.
But nobody is coming to the Nintendo Switch Online emulations of N64 video games anticipating one thing that would have been made yesterday. There are loads of individuals who will gladly gobble this recreation up from the NSO Expansion Pack service, eyes blissfully blurred by the rose-tinted specs of nostalgia, and to that we are saying — good for you! We have been that particular person sufficient instances to know the enjoyment of feeling the nice and cozy ’90s-flavoured fuzzies operating by way of your blood. But to these of you studying this who’re, maybe, extra used to a extra trendy interpretation of a farming sim — this assessment is for you.
Harvest Moon 64 is from an easier time, far nearer to the origins of Harvest Moon in 1996 than what farming sims are nowadays. The sequence started as creator Yasuhiro Wada’s goals of a rural, pleasantly pastoral facet of Japan that’s largely gone now, changed by machines, skyscrapers, and consumerism (a theme that seems in video games like Stardew Valley, too). In rural Japan, there’s not a lot to do, and positively no mix harvesters and automated sprinklers that can assist you plant, develop, and reap your crops — the whole lot is completed painstakingly by hand, from feeding your cows to watering your fields.
Is it tedious? Oh, sure. Your life will get barely simpler as soon as your instruments auto-upgrade after a sure variety of makes use of, which you’ll cheat slightly bit by spam-using them inside buildings, the place time is paused, however it’s nonetheless a ache within the donkey to need to feed all of your cattle or promote your crops one-by-one, and it is not helped by your piddly little eight-slot stock, both.
And let’s not neglect the harshness of early farming sims, the place you will typically end up throwing crops on the bottom by chance, or sowing seeds one millimetre away from the place you needed and dropping half of them, or — like we did — having your horse bravely bounce between you and the filth, leading to you hitting him with a hoe. And now he is mad at us. MATE. YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF.
Harvest Moon 64 is fiddly, infuriating, and unforgiving… buuuuut in case you’re enjoying on Switch, liberal use of the save-state function of the NSO video games smooths over numerous these creases. In reality, save-scumming may even come in useful if you wish to win large on the horse races. Hint trace.
Speaking of horse races, there are a couple of festivals to partake in, which break up the nice tedium about as soon as each fortnight. There are different occasions, too, just like the mine opening throughout winter solely, or the bridge being in-built late autumn, giving entry to a brand new and really boring mountain. But the overall feeling of nothing-to-do-ness is type of the purpose, is not it? If you’ve got ever lived in a small city that misplaced its thoughts when a McDonald’s opened up simply off the roundabout, you will know the sensation.
You will, in fact, be anticipated to marry. Giving items and speaking to your meant will slowly construct up their affection for you, and after some time, you’ll be able to pop the query with the sequence’ equal of an engagement ring: the Blue Feather. Or — as a result of it is a janky recreation with numerous bugs — you are able to do what we did, and spam ‘A’ to indicate the tsundere Karen your canine 255 instances in in the future to take her all the way in which to most hearts. Romance is useless, however our turbo button is alive and effectively, thank goodness.
Unfortunately, marriage ain’t all it is cracked as much as be. In reality, seconds after proposing to Karen, she requested us what our title was, and launched herself. Later that exact same day, we met her on the seashore, the place she yelled at us for… not proposing. Girl. Now that we’re married, she lurks round our home, speaking about laundry. Every single day. There was even one time the place we got here in to seek out her in mattress, solely to enter the kitchen and uncover one other Karen, who had whipped up a birthday feast for us. If you’ll be able to teleport, Karen, why do not you assist with the farmwork each on occasion?
These little quirks of code will maintain arising, and as we have already talked about, the localisation is not nice, both. Typos abound, and a few issues make zero sense — like after we examined one among our cows to seek out out that its birthday was ‘jis020-13’, a date format we’re not acquainted with, or when Popuri responds to us displaying her our canine with “Hand, huh?” There’s even a typo on the beginning display screen, the place Natsume’s title is spelled ‘Natume’, which looks like a reasonably dangerous oversight. We do not count on this recreation’s bugs to be ironed out a quarter-century later — particularly provided that the developer, Victor Interactive, not exists — however it actually makes us respect the diligence of contemporary devs and their thorough patches.
Overall, dunking on how janky and empty Harvest Moon 64 is looks like getting mad at an growing old actor for not being cute anymore. Though its jankiness is tough to forgive, the shortage of issues to do is just so apparent as a result of we have had 25 years of improvement within the farming recreation style. If you need to play one thing that is higher, then you’ll be able to actually observe the evolution by way of Back To Nature, Friends of Mineral Town, and the new-ish remake of Friends of Mineral Town — all of the characters persist, however the world is larger, the mechanics extra forgiving, and the characters extra fleshed-out.
But if you wish to expertise historical past, soak your self within the waters of nostalgia, and be taught to understand how good we’ve it nowadays (and you have already got the Nintendo swap Online Expansion Pack)… then give Harvest Moon 64 a go.
Conclusion
Harvest Moon 64 cannot hope to face as much as trendy farming sims, however generally it is good to get a reminder of how far we have come. If you might have a shred of nostalgia for this one, you will have a good time, particularly with the added bonus of straightforward save-scumming, and you must add a few factors to the rating under. For anybody else, the jankiness and tedium could be an excessive amount of to bear. Just make sure that to play it with a information, as a result of this recreation tells you NOTHIN’.
